The Awakening Heart

Something which unites us,
ironically, 
is our sense of separateness.

In this existential predicament 
we all journey.

When our childhood bonding needs inevitably go unmet at some point
A deep angst begins to fester
Of not mattering, 
Of something missing, 
Of a deep rooted lack of safety, 
Ultimately,
the deep belief –
I am
inherently 
Unloveable. 
Whenever we don’t feel belonging, 
This belief vibrates.
And we turn to a host of strategies 
to soothe 
the rawness of the activated wound.

Buddhism calls our strategies ‘false refuges’. Because they dont touch the core of it.

Much of our relationship seeking 
stems from this –
A frantic avoidance 
of feeling this core wound 
directly. 
My seperate self goes in search for something-else. 
Egoic loving = a ‘my self’ loving
some – one – else. 
The classic romantic tale of eventually finding the ‘other’ one.

Birthed alongside our separation identity 
is 
attachment to things outside of ourself
and fear of abandonment by such things

Life lived from this reality becomes 
One long list of 
control strategies to avoid
feeling THAT. 
Yet every moment there are doorways out of this dynamic.

And the key? 
A shift in identification of Self. 
The moment the connection to something larger is re-membered (integration of deeper levels of being) , a feeling of true belonging is experienced. 
As consciousness (our sense of Self) evolves, the way we love evolves.

Love emanating from the experience of that oneness is radically different. 
Unlocking the potential to a sense of unconditional boundless loving. 
This is Love as verb – not noun. 
Love as a field of being-ness we ARE 
Not something we search for, find and cling to. 
A liberation from the confinement 
of our sense of little self 
A Freedom from only loving what is “mine”. Hearts broken open 
to the endless currency of life force energy 
dancing 
It all.

Photo credit: Daniel Christopher Fox